The Inevitable Post Christmas Endometriosis Flare Up

My attempts at minimising a flare up over/following the holiday season have drastically failed. Yesterday I had the worse pain from Endometriosis I have ever experienced.

The pain was new, in my lower left pelvic region, quite close to my groin. It was extremely painful to put weight through either leg to walk. I had to take very small steps and hold onto something to ensure I wasn’t putting all my weight through my pelvis. The pain was sharp and crampy. I was unable to speak in sentences. I wondered if it was maybe hip pain as it was so close to my groin. Due to the crampy pain occurring in waves, I guessed it probably was due to endo. I also had the ‘tethering’ pain (adhesions haven’t been surgically diagnosed) in what I believe to be the Pouch of Douglas and on my right side. I initially took 30mg of co-codamol which had no effect. An hour later I took another 30mg of co-codamol. This took the edge off, I still had a lot of pain. I could not sit down straight, even with the amount of pain relief I took. I had to sit sideways and frequently turn as it was very painful on my swollen knee to sit in this way.

I still have the pain today, although it isn’t as severe. I hadn’t taken any pain medicine the day before yesterday until the evening. I guess I should have taken something sooner to keep on top of it.  Today it is painful to pass urine, painful to pass gas and there is absolutely no way I could have a bowel movement. Last night I had some urinary retention. But the pain isn’t as bad today as yesterday. On walking I experience a pulling pain across my lower abdomen.

One Week Later: The pain has persisted beyond the end of my period, as it did with the flare up in the autumn, when we were in alternative accommodation due to the kitchen floor being fixed. I think the holiday season is the cause for this flare up. I tried so hard to pace. My daughter and I went out on most days in the last ten days before Christmas. I felt this approach was better than trying to get a lot of things done on just a few days. Both ways of dealing with the to do list have pros and cons. Due to the finances we had to wait until a couple of days before Christmas to get the last few bits organised.

The most stressful thing however was from lack of understanding and confusing conversations with/from a family member.  Due to my daughters fatigue and symptoms with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, last year we popped in for a coffee on Christmas morning.  My husband had been told not to bother with this as it wasn’t worth it (?). We actually wanted our daughter to see her Grandma on Christmas Day. In September, during the time of immense stress with not being at home, the family member approached my husband whilst he was at work (in a local hospital) She then proceeded to tell my husband his failings, how we ruined her Christmas Day last year… AND don’t bother coming over for Christmas Day this year as your dear wife takes four days to recover!  Everything that was said, how it was said and where it was said, along with the fact that there was no way to get a word in edgeways was the last straw for my husband. He didn’t argue back. He equally could have said some truths in return. However, even if he wasn’t at work he would not have done this.  He chose not to contact this person after this and left it at that. Later that night there was a phone call from the family member with an apology (of how it was inappropriate to have the conversation at my husband’s work). So we carried on with our life. We managed to meet up a few times. We were told not to bother coming out for a birthday as it was too far. We did anyway. Then the week before Christmas there was a phone conversation with another rant on my husbands failings. This all completely back-tracked from the apology. The confusing part is that after telling us not to go over for Christmas, the person complained that we weren’t going. My ‘four days to recover’ was mentioned once more.

i Wish It Only Took 4 Days To Recover From Christmas… in reality it takes six weeks. This information was taken during a phone call when I was bombarded with many questions about my M.E symptoms. Never did I realise they would be used against me.  But Christmas and school holidays were never asked about, so it was assumed everything takes four days to recover from. But, that was before I was diagnosed with Hyperaldosteronism (which improved my fatigue) and before a couple of endo flare ups (which have worsened the fatigue). I also have my birthday on the 5th January, then Ben’s birthday in the third week. So I have to keep going and organise what is needed for these too.

I am aware that some people need to be educated when it comes to understanding pain and fatigue symptoms in other people. I dislike the fact that a lot of the time what is said doesn’t register with the other person. This is a challenge to move on from as I don’t feel I should justify everything to others. I have a feeling of contempt towards me from certain people with regards to my children’s and my health. I try to rise above it. I could easily move on and not look back ever due to the disrespect I have dealt with. It takes me a long time to process this behaviour and attitude towards myself and my children. It may take weeks or months. I want to move on in the best way for myself and my children whilst treating the people concerned with respect. My main priority has to be to remain as stress free as possible, as this makes my endo pain a lot worse.

Ben’s 21st Birthday

Next Week Ben Celebrates His 21st Birthday…

… I can’t believe so much time has passed since then. He was born on a Friday at 4.50pm. I actually started to dilate on my birthday, twelve days before, but that stopped. So I had to carry on with everything whilst  being 3cm dilated. At this point Ben was pressing down on my sciatic nerve, giving me shooting pain through my pelvis floor and both thighs. It was very difficult to deal with. At some point I went into the hospital with the pain and I think my intention was to stay there until he was born. Pain was a big challenge for me when I was younger, as I  hadn’t learnt ways of how to manage it. It scared me too. I think I went in on the Tuesday. They broke my waters on Friday, when Ben was 10 days late.

I can’t remember if they broke my waters at 9.30am or 1pm. 9am sounds more likely, I think I was in full labour by 1 or 1.30pm. From having a very slow start, it progressed very quickly once my waters were broken. I was so scared of the pain and with it being my first delivery I had no idea how bad it was going to get. I asked for an epidural, as I’d already had pethidine and the gas and air wasn’t helping as much as it was. The bed was taken down to the delivery room. The wait was so long as the doctor was busy somewhere else. By the time she had the needle in my spine I was ready to push. Due to the epidural it was difficult to push with little feeling of what you are pushing.

After a while pf pushing Ben was becoming distressed. Two doctors arrived, waiting to start a C-Section if needed. I wasn’t told this, they were a couple of metres from the foot of the bed. I feel because of the epidural I was more aware of other things going on around me. When I was in labour with my daughter, (over 8 years later) I didn’t have an epidural, I was completely withdrawn in on my body and what it needed to do (with the help of the midwives talking me through).

Eventually I managed to push enough for the midwife to do an episiotomy. I would rather not have had this done. However, the choice for me between and episiotomy and a C-Section is an easy one.

Ben was delivered safely at 4.50pm, he weighed an ounce under 10lb. He was a very long baby and now stands at 6’2″ (at a guess). I am very lucky to be able to have children, I could not imagine the pain of not being able to. Every single day I am grateful for having my two wonderful children in my life.