Okay, I am going to write through my thought processes through this post. Initially I had planned to title the post ‘I am not ill’. I believed that as I feel I am not just my physical body. As a whole person there are other aspects to me as well as my physical self. My emotions, my spirituality (not religious) and my mind/thoughts. Because not all these aspects are fully controlled by the illness then my whole being isn’t inflicted with being ill. I looked up the definition of the following then had the realisation that yes actually, I am ill. I am physically ill. I am also a sufferer and a victim of Endometriosis, Ehlers Danlos Syndrome and Hyperaldosteronism. Until today I had never looked up the definitions of the following words. I didn’t want to be boxed into the label of being ill. I will not let the acceptance of being physically ill limit my perception of myself as a whole with the other aspects of myself.
Definition of Illness: Cambridge English Dictionary:
- Ill: (adjective- not well): not feeling well, or suffering from disease.
- Grammar: Ill or sick?: Ill and sick are both adjectives that mean ‘not in good health’. We use both ill and sick after a verb such as be, become, feel, look, or seem….
Definition of Suffer: Cambridge English Dictionary:
Suffer: verb (feel pain): to experience physical or mental pain.
Definition of Victim: Cambridge English Dictionay:
Victim: Someone or something that has been hurt, damaged or killed or has suffered, either because of the actions of someone or something else.
To me these words are negative in that they make the ill person, the person suffering ill health and the victim who is suffering ill health, seem to be completely at the will of the illness. They are not in control and therefore not in charge of their lives. But to me this isn’t fully the case. Yes, physically you have to live each day as best as you can with your symptoms. However, we are in full control of how we feel about our physical symptoms. Having a chronic medical condition that can’t be cured is overwhelming at first. It can be easy to feel trapped in the box that the label of your condition puts you in. The most difficult thing to accept is that you aren’t going to get the old you back. This does not mean you won’t have a meaningful life again. Always focus on what you can do. You will adapt with the things you can’t and navigate new ways around them.